Grand Rounds Presentation: Couples and Addiction – Where do we go from here?
WHO: Kristy Roll, LCSW WHAT: Grand Rounds Presentation: Couples and Addiction – Where do we go from here? WHEN: Wednesday, November 13, 2019 from 1:00PM – 4:00PM WHERE:Frist Family Life Center – Room 114/115 (on the campus of Cumberland Heights) COST: $15 – Open to the public, FREE for CH Employees! CONTACT HOURS: 3
Participants will understand the issues that couples face when addiction is present
Participants will be informed on research regarding couples
Participants will be able to take away tools from several theoretical models to use when working with couples in residential treatment
Participants will begin to understand ways to shift old shame based language to more positive/recovery supporting language
About the Presenter:
Kristy Roll is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 16 years experience in the addiction and mental health field. Kristy utilizes a multi-dimensional approach with families focusing on improving communication, decreasing conflict and increasing education about addiction. She is experienced in working with co-occurring adolescents and adults and skilled in supporting family members and those suffering from addiction.
Every parent wants the best for their child. You take them to school, put band-aids on scraped knees and help them through life’s challenges. By showering your child with care and love, you set them up for success, all while hoping that nothing bad will ever happen to them.
Unfortunately, addiction does not discriminate. According to a recent survey by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Association (SAMHSA), over 20 million people in the United States have a diagnosable substance use disorder. No matter how well someone’s life is going, it is possible to start down a slippery slope of drug or alcohol misuse. If you notice that your child seems to be struggling with addiction, there are specific steps you should take today.
Is My Child Addicted?
Before confronting your child, you should first determine to a reasonable degree of certainty that they are misusing drugs or alcohol. Signs of substance use include:
Lying about their whereabouts and activities
Socially isolating themselves from family and friends
Seeming “off” – acting restless or extremely sedated
Exhibiting external signs, such as dilated or constricted pupils, skin picking, or rapid weight loss
Spending time with new, unsavory “friends”
Finding paraphernalia or signs of drug use in their room
It is important to note that some signs of substance use, such as secretive behavior or changes to one’s personality, are also hallmarks of young adulthood. It is natural for teenagers to withdraw from their parents and attempt to act out or assert their independence. Because this is exactly when they are at risk for addiction, parents must navigate this difficult time by upping the strength of the relationship with their teen.
Strengthen Your Relationship
Young adulthood is a difficult period full of transitions and tough choices. This is when open, honest communication becomes a key pillar in any parent/child relationship. By asking nonjudgmental, open-ended questions and creating opportunities for topics to be explored in a safe way, you can ensure that your teen will feel safe coming to you with any struggle.
If this is not the way your relationship has functioned until now, it is not too late to change. When speaking to your addicted child, stay focused and engaged on what they are telling you. Always respond kindly and try to diminish negative reactions when possible. Overt emotionality is not helpful in these conversations; if you are too upset to properly regulate your feelings, try to set up a plan to revisit the topic when you have both calmed down. However, keep in mind that addiction is not a problem that will go away on its own – you need to step in to help your child find recovery.
Don’t Enable Your Child – Set Clear Expectations
One of the most difficult aspects of parenting a child with addiction is the breakdown of boundaries within the family unit. This disease thrives in secrecy and passive-aggression – if you don’t address it, nothing will improve.
It can also be tempting for loving parents to cover up for their child. Maybe they will call in an excuse to school when their teen is too hung over to attend or will even provide the financial means to purchase more of a drug when their supply runs out. Parents who exhibit this behavior focus on alleviating short-term pain, but they unintentionally reinforce their child’s substance use in the process. This is called enabling, and it is an extremely unhealthy approach to any loved one’s substance use disorder.
The best way to avoid enabling is by defining cause-and-effect consequences with your child. These boundaries should be set during calm periods, not during a binge or fight, and will help to define which behaviors will be tolerated. By holding to consistent standards, you can help your child to understand the problems inherent to their behavior. This also provides you with evidence of tested boundaries down the road. By painting a clear picture of their behavior, you will be better able to convince your child to accept treatment.
Identify Resources and Seek Treatment
Finally, you should seek professional care for your child and your family. Conduct some research to learn more about credentialed treatment centers in your area. Ideally, you will find one that offers the full continuum of care – this means that everything from detox and residential treatment to outpatient services and transitional sober living is provided by the same facility. The best programs will be accredited and will be helmed by industry experts who can help your child to rid their body of toxic substances while also building new, substance-free coping mechanisms for the future.
Don’t forget to care for yourself and other members of the family as well. Addiction is a family disease, meaning that everyone from parents to siblings can be affected negatively by one member’s substance use. Programs like Al-Anon can provide group support and individual counseling sessions can be helpful for the process of working through past trauma.
At Cumberland Heights, we transform lives, giving hope and healing to those affected by alcohol and drug addiction. Our rehabilitation programs for adolescents (ages 14-18) and young adults (18-25) are designed specifically for the complex needs of the younger generation. To learn more about our youth programming, contact Cumberland Heights at 800-646-9998 today.
Generations of well-intentioned professionals have driven home the message to parents of those affected by addiction, “there’s nothing you can do until your child is ready to get help.” The person with addiction is powerless over drugs, alcohol and their disease, but that doesn’t mean that they are powerless over everything. Similarly, parents are powerless over their child and addiction, but they aren’t powerless over everything either.
Objectives for Participants are to:
Review The Stages of Change Model
Explore the Implications of Action-Ready Parents with Non-action-ready Children with Addiction
Identify at least 5 Opportunities for Action-Ready Parents
Identify at least 5 Opportunities for Professionals Serving Families Affected by Addiction
About Ginny Mills:
Ginny Mills joined the addiction recovery field over 25 years ago and now leads both Parenting Through Addiction (a web-based education & consultation service) and Full Life Counseling and Recovery (an outpatient private practice) in Winston-Salem, NC. She holds a master’s degree from Wake Forest University and credentials in both general mental health and addiction counseling.
Ginny has experience leading in primary residential, sober living and outpatient addiction treatment settings, including service as the Chief Clinical Officer for Partnership for a Drug-Free NC, She has a strong understanding of both the clinical and parental aspects of supporting those affected by the disease of addiction. Ginny loves to scuba dive, travel and ski with her husband and adult daughters (one of whom is in sustained recovery).
This fall, Ginny will release her new book Parenting Through Your Adult Child’s Addiction: Making Sense of Treatment, Aftercare and Recovery Recommendations.
PLEASE NOTE: There are 2 Sessions are available for convenience, you do not need to attend both.
**Please plan your travel arrangements around completing the course by 5:30 p.m. on Sunday. Any missed training time can be made up in a one-on-one Skype session with an ARISE® Trainer at the rate of $250/hour. Typically, missing one morning/afternoon session will require 1 – 2 hours of make up time. Please make arrangements with the training office.
The curriculum provides:
Practice of learning ARISE® Comprehensive Care with Intervention:
Learning to conduct the three levels of the ARISE® Intervention
Applying ARISE® Comprehensive Care / Case Management
Building a family genogram and recognizing family patterns
Mobilizing a family support network
Determining level of care
Understanding when an intervention is necessary
Collaborating with family, support network, professionals and treatment providers/facilities
A theoretical overview of:
The origins of addiction
The relationship of trauma and loss to addiction, behavioral health, and mental health issues
The role of families in recovery from addiction and mental health challenges
The 3 Pennsylvania Certification Board (PCB) approved intervention models, their history, and relevant data
ARISE® research and outcome data
Neurobiology and addiction
Hands-on skill building
Experiential exercises and role-plays
Small and large-group exercises
B) ARISE® Practicum (optional)
Complete 3-Day Comprehensive Care with Intervention Workshop ARISE® Practicum Information Apply and practice the ARISE® method with a hypothetical case to familiarize yourself with the protocol. Participants create, develop, and present a hypothetical case using the ARISE® method.
PART II: BECOMING A CERTIFIED ARISE® INTERVENTIONIST
Cumberland Heights and the Family Care Program wishes to extend our invitation for you to participate along with other family members in our Family Program. Cumberland Heights supports and encourages your participation in this integral part of the treatment process. We offer 2 program sessions for participation, please choose whichever fits your schedule better. The first session begins Saturday – Monday, the other begins Sunday – Tuesday.
We are glad that you are interested in spending time with your loved one while at Cumberland Heights. Your presence greatly increases the recovery outcomes for your loved one in treatment as well as for you, your family, and generations to come. Although all activities are important, it is essential that all visitors participate in the 1:15PM family recovery groups on Sunday. There is a lot going on at Cumberland Heights on Sunday. These notes will help you navigate. If you’d like a convenient printable agenda/schedule please click one of the buttons above.
Please arrive early. This allows you to have plenty of time to park, get to the Family Life Center to register, get your visitor badge, and get to your scheduled activity.
Please check in. The Frist Family Life Center (FLC Building) is the large building with the clock tower to the left of the parking lot. Please go to the far entrance and you will find our receptionist. Again, this is where you will sign in.
Please join us for lunch! Please note: that lunch is only available (cost is $12/adult) for those visitors who attend morning activities, which include Chapel, Mindfulness Meditation Practice, or individual family sessions. There are several restaurants available on Charlotte Avenue near River Road for your convenience if you aren’t able to attend these morning activities. Please note that you must be here by 11:00AM in order to participate in the morning activities and lunch on campus.
If you can only attend the afternoon activities, please arrive at 12:45PM and proceed to the FLC Building as noted above.
FAMILY RECOVERY DAY SCHEDULE
1st time visitor orientation in FLC Building
Chapel Service in FLC Auditorium or Mindfulness Meditation Practice
— Men meet in MMR
— Women meet in Craig Hall lower-level small group room
— Youth Mindfulness is held in the Hazel Hawkins lower level
Lunch Dining Hall (REMEMBER: You must attend morning activities to have lunch on campus)
Recovery Connections Groups as follows:
Young Men – meet in FLC Building Traditional Adult Women – meet in Craig Hall lower level large group room Traditional Adult Men, as well as Extended Care Men – meet in MMR Family Education Group (First Step Families) – meet in FLC Auditorium
First Step patients join their families at 2:15pm in the FLC
2:45PM – 4:00PM
Unstructured Family Recovery Time with Loved Ones
VERY IMPORTANT:Anyone who arrives to the security gate more than 10 minutes late for Chapel/Meditation will be asked to come back at 12:45PM. The latest anyone may arrive on campus on Sunday is 1:15PM.
Addiction is a progressive disease. If untreated, its limits are boundless. Addiction is like cancer, or diabetes, or MS; it matters not what gender, age, income or educational level one may be to become addicted to anything from alcohol to prescriptions and worse. The symptoms of addiction affect the whole family, which is why recovery for each family member, addict or not, is at the heart of our Family Program, and our Children’s Program, too (one of the nation’s best.)
Families with or without relatives in treatment may attend, (any family with a relative in treatment is highly recommended to join The Family Program). The program is free for patient families, and a nominal fee is charged for others. Scholarships are available.
Children of addicts grow up in chaos and unpredictability. The earlier in a child’s life problems occur, the more likely the rest of their own life will be affected, even once sober. Kids absorb their environment, and a dysfunctional environment can lead a child into a lifetime of struggles.
Children need to know about addiction and its recovery. In The Family Program, kids can talk privately, safely, yet openly, expressing a wide range of real feelings. And they can ask almost any question.
At Cumberland Heights, we utilize art, games, recreation, theater and music to help them express the inexpressible. Children discover hope and healing in this safe environment.
Children are accepted into the program between the ages of 6 and 12.
The Cumberland Heights Children’s Program teaches kids to safely express their feelings. Once they understand addiction is a chronic illness, they begin to understand that they are not to blame. This is but one great reason to attend this program, and there are many more.
Since 1966, it has been Cumberland Heights’ mission to transform lives, giving hope to those affected by alcohol and drugs. Cumberland Heights recognizes addiction is a family disease and wants to provide support whenever possible. Our Family & Community Education Program is designed to provide education and support for those seeking recovery and those already taking the steps to transform their lives. Please join us on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of each month, from 7:00-8:30PM at Indian Lake Peninsula Church at 235 Indian Lake Rd, Hendersonville, TN 37075 to learn more about how you can support yourself and your loved ones and what is available to you throughout this process.
Parents battling addiction may lack the ability to provide structure and support for their children. This can be an incredibly stressful time, as children often do not understand why or how their parent became addicted to substances and often blame themselves. The National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACA) notes that children face a number of stressors when parental addiction is involved, such as conflict within the home, increased isolation and decreased family cohesion. If you are a parent who has been working diligently in recovery and have reached a place where you want to reconnect with your child, you must realize that it will take time.
A study conducted at Western Sydney University in Australia emphasized the importance of empathy and emotion regulation when it comes to re-connecting with one’s child. There are three main aspects to this:
Cognitive empathy – being able to understand what your child may be going through and perceiving what his or her feelings may be
Emotional reactivity – the ability to respond emotionally to your child’s pain
Social skills – being able to gauge the effect of your behavior on your child and on others
Many 12-Step programs endorse this, but it’s important to admit to your child the pain you’ve caused them and explain that it wasn’t their fault. It will take time to rebuild trust, but acknowledging how you’ve affected them is a great place to start. As you work towards strengthening this relationship, maintain open communication and remind yourself to see things through your child’s point of view. They’re hurt and they may be very upset and unsure if they can trust you. This doesn’t mean that you can’t repair your relationship with them, it just means that you’ll have to prove to them – with your words and actions – that you are on the path of recovery and will be staying there.
Cumberland Heights is a nonprofit alcohol and drug-addiction treatment center located on the banks of the Cumberland river in Nashville, Tennessee. On a sprawling 177-acre campus, we are made up of 2 12-Step immersion campuses, 12 outpatient recovery centers and 4 sober living homes. We believe that each person has a unique story to tell – and that’s why we always put the patient first.
Call us today at 1-800-646-9998 to take the next step towards your happiness and health.
If you talk to anyone who has worked with James Luna during his tenure at Cumberland Heights, you’ll hear all kinds of anecdotes about his impact and personality. There is one theme you’ll hear over and over – that James was a no-nonsense kind of guy. In recovery, James often told people things they didn’t want to hear but needed to. It always came from a place of love.
James was Clinical Director of the Men’s Program for 19 years. As his obituary states “His own personal recovery, that spanned decades, was paralleled only by the love and energy he put into patients and friends alike struggling with alcohol and drug addictions. His life’s work will be remembered by the thousands he touched who are now, in turn, helping others themselves.”
Cumberland Heights Board Member Rob Crichton had this to say about James:
“I first met James Luna 31 years ago. James was quite a force at Friendship House. I suppose you could put him in the category of the ‘tough love’ type. Staying sober and participating in the program was top priority. He introduced me to a rather rough looking fellow in the coffee bar at 202 one afternoon and informed me I was going to be his sponsor. What an experience. James was emphatic to put it mildly. He also called it like he saw it in the meetings, not cross talking, but he always let you know where he stood. I admired his AA orthodoxy especially in a meeting.”
Many years later I became reacquainted with James after he became employed at Cumberland Heights, but something had changed. James was much more mellow. The rough edges seemed to have smoothed out. I cannot tell you how this happened. Perhaps it was his marriage to Dawn or being in the Cumberland environment, but he had transformed into a much gentler person. We worked on two projects together at Cumberland Heights and I felt totally comfortable around him. It felt like we were beginning to be friends.
“One thing is for certain in my experience – James Luna was always a good man regardless what chapter of life he was in.”
Vivian Jo Bell, who works in Medical Records said, “I found him to be direct, honest, grateful and compassionate. My favorite memory of James is 22 years ago. I was diagnosed with cancer. James Luna was the first person to come to me just to talk and offer prayers.”
Our Chief Clinical Officer Cinde Stewart Freeman had this to say about James:
“I met James during my first 60 days in recovery. I didn’t know how to talk to people and I was afraid this recovery thing wouldn’t work for me. James caught my attention in meetings because he spoke rarely, concisely, and always something that rang as true to me. During a day that I was really struggling, I got my nerve up and asked the $1,000,000 question. ‘James, how do you get faith?’ I think my voice was shaking; I know my hands still were. I thought he was going to give me a mystical and deeply theological answer that would change my world. He looked at me closely and then simply said, ‘Well, Cinde, you lived through things that you thought you couldn’t live through, and when you look back, you realize that God helped you. That’s how you get faith.’ At the time, it seemed too easy to be true and much too simple. As the years have gone by, James and I have had many conversations about God and the nature of spirituality. I learned so much wisdom from him. But I am not sure that anything he taught me was as powerful as that first simple truth – a truth that turned out to be mystical, deeply theological, and that did indeed change my world. Godspeed, my friend. I love you.”
James had a way with words, both spoken and on paper. You may be one of the millions who read his articles on Grapevine, AA’s monthly publication. And few could forget his goodbye letter to Cumberland Heights when he retired in 2012.
It read in part:
“To have been allowed a minor part in this unfolding passion play of God after his wounded and devastated children for the past 25 years has been, for me, nothing short of…words are often insufficient in this realm. Fortunately, God has languages that need no words.”
A Life Celebration will be held for James Saturday, Oct. 20 at 2:30 p.m. at Harpeth Hills Funeral Home and Cremation Center. A reception will follow at The Pavilion.
Addiction is a family disease that stresses the family to the breaking point, impacts the stability of the home, the family’s unity, mental health, physical health, finances, and overall family dynamics.
Join us to learn about how your family might be affected and what you can do to support yourself, your family and your loved ones who may be struggling with substance use.
The mission of Cumberland Heights is to transform lives, giving hope and healing to those affected by drugs and alcohol. Addiction is a chronic, progressive, and potentially fatal disease. We carefully provide the highest quality care for adults, adolescents, and families who suffer from, or are affected by, this devastating disease.
Engaging and treating adolescents with substance use disorders and their families present many challenges including the increasing acuity and complexity of the problem and a limited array of service delivery options and evidence-based treatments. This presentation will provide an overview of current trends and perspectives on adolescent substance use disorders as well as a review of effective screening, assessment and engagement strategies for the adolescent and his family. An overview of evidence-based interventions, as well as a systems-based intensive outpatient model of treatment, will be presented. Case presentation and discussion will allow participants to address real-world challenges and opportunities.
Gary L. Sauls, LCAS & Paul Nagy, LPC, LCAS, CCS from Duke University
Date & Time:
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
8:30 AM – 12:00 PM CDT
Registration begins at 8:00am
If you or a loved one would like to speak directly with one of our licensed admissions staff, please call us now at (800) 646-9998 or submit the following information. If outside business hours, we will get back to you the following day.
Why is it so meaningful to give to Cumberland Heights?
Your gift to Cumberland Heights through our annual and capital initiates gives immediate support to patients and their families. To make a longer term impact a gift to the endowment fund will provide patient assistance funding for years to come.